Clalec BROTPSlash Oneshots
by SPNWinchesters
Summary: This is a collection of Clary/Alec Brotp oneshots! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**I've been super obsessed with the idea of Clary and Alec BROTP/slash lately, so here's one of my ideas for a short story about it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Shadowhunters, the Mortal Instruments, or any of the characters!**

Alec didn't know why Jace had sent him with Clary when they'd split up. It wasn't that Clary was a bad shadowhunter. Quite the opposite in fact. After everything that had happened, and Jace's training, the girl had picked it up quick. Alec glanced over at her, her seraph blade illuminating her face in the dim warehouse. Her lips were turned down in a frown, eyebrows drawn together, and the blade looked comfortable in her hand. She looked like a true shadowhunter.

"Alec." She hissed, throwing her right arm out and halting his forward movement. "Look." She pointed ahead of them, through one of the empty metal racks. Alec followed her finger, seeing the demon at the end of it, it's face buried in the stomach of the latest victim. Alec grimaced and knocked an arrow, lifting his bow lightly. "Follow my lead. Don't rush in." He whispered, glancing over at Clary. She used to have a habit of doing that, not following their instructions, and instead just throwing herself into a fight. Instead, she nodded her head, looking over at him, waiting for his signal.

Alec took a deep breath, pulling his tense string back and letting an arrow loose. The runed projectile embedded itself into their target's back, causing it to let out a pained roar and turn around.

"Now!" Alec shouted, watching as Clary lunged forward, dagger glowing brightly. The blade plunged into the demon's heart, but the thing grabbed a hold of Clary's hair and tossed her easily to the side, her dagger still sticking out of it's chest.

"Clary!" Alec heard Jace shout. The sound of his parabatai's voice made Alec turn, distracting him from the demon making its way towards him. Jace came around a shelf to his right, and Alec noted as his eyes widened, and he started to lunge towards Alec. "Alec!" He shouted, the fear in his voice betraying him. Alec turned his head quickly, and time seemed to slow down. One of the demon's barbed spitters was whistling through the air past him.

"NO!" He heard Clary's shout, and suddenly there was a mess of fiery red hair in front of him. Green eyes met his own blue ones, wide and scared, before the spitter pierced her stomach. Alec had never in his life heard the noise that came out of Clary's mouth as she landed in front of him, head cracking loudly on the pavement. There was a cough, a gurgle, and he watched as blood bubbled from her mouth. Two swift arrows sailed through the air, one taking place in its face and the other right beside Clary's dagger, still in the creature's heart. It roared before falling to the ground and disintegrating in front of them.

"Clary! Hey, Clary look at me." Jace's frantic hands grasped Clary's face, her green eyes wide and searching. Usually it was Jace she was looking for, but this time, they found Alec's face instead.

"Are y-you," there was another cough and a loud gasp, "hurt?" She demanded. Jace looked up at Alec before turning his attention back to Clary.

"Clary, it's going to be okay. Alec isn't hurt." The quivering in his voice betrayed his steady hands. He was scared. Alec dropped to his knees, pressing his hands around the barb in her stomach. She screamed and jolted to a seated position, one hand grasping Jace's shoulder and the other coming to Alec's arm.

"I'm sorry. I have to stop this bleeding." Alec's heart cracked. _I never wanted this._ "We need to get her back to the institute." Alec spoke to Jace as Clary fell back to the pavement. "She's bleeding from the head too. We need to go now." Alec eyed the blood pooling under her head, wincing as the girl gasped again, more blood pouring from her mouth. Alec looked up at Jace, but the golden eyed man seemed lost, wide eyes staring at Clary's face. "JACE." Alec snapped, pulling the man from whatever trance he was in.

"Alec is right, she's going to die if we stay here much longer." Isabelle stated from where she was standing behind Alec, noting the way Clary's face paled by the second and that Alec's arms were covered in dark blood up to his elbows.

"Okay." Jace whispered, brushing sweaty hair out of Clary's eyes with shaking fingers. "We have to pick you up now, Clary." He warned her. The girl didn't seem to hear him, eyes staring up into nothing as she hyperventilated and sobbed. Alec and Jace looked at each other as Jace slid his hands under her back and lifted her into his arms. That seemed to jar her back, a scream tearing deep from her chest. She grasped Alec's arm, slick with blood, and sobbed.

"Why, Clary? Why did you jump in front of me?" Alec murmured, more to himself than to anyone else.

"I n-need y-," there was another gurgle.

"Clary stop, don't talk." Jace soothed her as they moved, doing his best not to jostle her too much.

"I need you to be th-there for Jace and I-I-Izzy when I can't." She gasped, wide eyes boring into his. "You're t-too impor-ortant to lose." She gasped again, grip falling slack from the two shadowhunters above her as her eyes rolled back and her head lolled listlessly into Jace's shoulder.

"Clary!" Jace shouted, voice gruff and scared. Alec was surprised to feel tears in the corners of his eyes.

"We need to call Simon, so he can drive us. We'll never make it in time if we walk." Izzy stated, looking down at the girl. "She's still breathing, for now." The girl pulled her phone out, quickly scrolling to Simon's contact and calling him. The vampire picked up on the second ring.

"Izzy?" He asked, voice crackling through the phone.

"Simon, we need you to come pick us up." She stated hurriedly. "It's Clary. She'll never make it if we walk." Simon didn't need any more explanation.

"I'm on my way."

"The venom is out, but she's lost a lot of blood. Only time will tell if she can make it." Hodge's diagnosis wasn't exactly what Alec and Jace wanted to hear. The two glanced at each other before looking down at the girl on the infirmary bed in front of them. She looked like she was just sleeping, soft breaths puffing out of her mouth quickly. Alec knew better. She was fighting for her life under the guise of unconsciousness.

Without a word, the man turned and strode from the infirmary, the door slamming shut behind him. Guilt clouded his mind as he strode towards the kitchen. That should have been him on that bed. He knew he was stronger than her, had more experience with demon venom. Even the most experienced shadowhunters struggled with taking a spitter, and she'd jumped in front of him with no regard for herself.

"Alec." His sister's voice broke him out of his thoughts and the Nephilim realized he was standing in the kitchen, staring at the floor. "What's the news?" She asked, gesturing to the seat across from her at the long table. The man slumped to the seat, leaning back with a deep sigh.

"Hodge managed to get the venom out, but said she's lost a lot of blood. He doesn't know if she's going to wake up." Alec replied, glancing up with a small nod of thanks as the chef placed a plate of chicken and mashed potatoes in front of him. The sight of food made his stomach turn, and he pushed the plate away with hands still dyed pink from the blood he'd tried so hard to scrub from his skin. _Clary's blood._ "She said I was too important to lose." He stated, not sure whether he was talking to his sister or to himself.

"I heard." Izzy nodded, taking a bit of her own mashed potatoes and waiting for Alec to continue.

"She's stupid." Alec stated. Izzy wanted to answer, but Alec kept talking. "She's important, too." He shook his head.

"Yes, I'm sure Jace thinks so." Izzy replied. Alec looked up sharply, eyes narrowed.

" _ **I**_ think so. And I know you do too." Izzy couldn't deny that. "She threw herself in front of me with reckless abandon." He looked like he wanted to say something more, but shook his head instead and took a small bite of mashed potatoes. Just as Isabelle was about to speak, the door opened and Jace stepped in. He glanced at Izzy, who just nodded.

"I'll be in my room if you need me, Alec." She spoke to her big brother before exiting the kitchen.

"Alec," before Jace could speak, his parabatai interrupted him.

"Why aren't you with Clary?" Alec demanded. "Did you just leave her alone?" The fire in his voice startled Jace.

"She's fine. There's nothing I can do for her right now." Jace replied, sitting down where Izzy had just been. "I can do something for you, though. What's going on?" Jace asked. "I've never seen you like this."

"I just don't understand." Alec replied. "After all that I've done to her, everything I've said to her. She just jumped in front of me. That should be me in there." Alec looked down at the food in front of him. "And the worst part is that I don't know if I would do the same for her." He murmured.

"Yes, you would." Jace replied quickly.

"How do you know?" Alec demanded, looking up at the golden eyed boy.

"Because you're my parabatai. And Clary means a lot to me. You wouldn't let me down like that. Just the same way that I would jump in front of Magnus to save him if I had to." Jace stared at Alec meaningfully. Alec still wasn't sure. "Speaking of. Magnus called me. I told him what happened. He wants you to stay the night with him." Alec looked up. Jace smiled and nodded softly. "If anyone asks, I'll make something up."

Being with Magnus always made Alec feel better. As he sat on the couch, curled up against the Warlock he called his own, he couldn't help but feel slightly at peace. His boyfriend didn't make him talk about it, didn't ask. He had merely offered Alec a light blue cocktail and a seat on the couch, putting some old black and white movie on the large TV in the living room.

It was around 2am when Alec's phone startled him awake. He and Magnus had fallen asleep on the couch to the movie, a rest that Alec needed more than he'd known. He jolted awake, seeing Jace's name on his phone.

"Hello?" He answered groggily, sitting up from where he was leaning on Magnus. The warlock stared at him, narrow eyes slitted in concern.

"You know I wouldn't wake you up if I didn't have to." Jace's voice sounded panicked, something that Alec had only heard a few times before.

"Jace what's going on?" Alec asked.

"Clary is awake." Jace stated, but he didn't sound happy about it. "I can't get through to her. Hodge says that the venom caused hallucinations. She won't stop asking for you." Jace's voice quivered. "Please, Alec. She needs you." Alec's heart pounded.

"Magnus and I will be there soon." As if those were the secret words, they were suddenly standing right next to Jace. Alec looked over at Magnus sharply, who just shrugged, the crackling magic fading from his fingertips.

"ALEC!" The boy dropped to his knees besides Clary's bed. The girl's eyes were open, but staring through everything. She writhed on the bed, and Alec faintly noticed that she'd been tied down. He eyed the cuffs around her ankles and wrists before looking sharply to Jace.

"We had to." The man explained softly.

"STOP!" She shrieked, fighting against the restraints, throwing her head side to side on her pillow. Alec's heart stuttered and he reached forward, clutching at Clary's fingers.

"I'm here, Clary." He whispered, crawling slightly towards her bed. Her fingers squeezed around his, her other arm fighting towards him. "Jace, take those off." He commanded sharply, glaring at the restraints. His parabatai nodded and hurriedly removed the restraints. The girl curled towards Alec, hands clutching at him, and threw her face into his shoulder. "I'm here. It's okay." He pulled her closer. Her screams softened to whimpers, her body quivering. Alec put his hand on the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair softly. Just like he used to when Izzy had nightmares about demons, which had happened for the first several years she'd trained.

"Alec." She whimpered, struggling to get closer.

"I'm here." He slowly moved, crawling onto the bed with her. He could see Jace standing beside the bed, lips turned into a frown. They'd have to talk later.

Clary pressed herself into his side, hands twisting into his black shirt. Alec wrapped himself around her, arms pressing her small frame into him.

"I'm here now. It's okay." He whispered softly into her hair, tucking her head under his chin. The girl's whimpers quieted before her breathing deepened and her grip slackened. "She's asleep." He glanced up at Jace.

"Do you mind staying?" Jace's lips were turned into a frown, and Alec could see the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jace." Alec whispered, frowning. The blond only smiled, reaching out and squeezing Alec's shoulder before leaving the room. Magnus took a seat on the arm chair next to the bed, fingers steepled on his lap, and stared at Alec. "What?" Alec asked softly, frowning. "You look mad."

"I'm not mad." Magnus replied. "Just thinking."

"What about?" Alec inquired.

"Jace is hurt because she's asking for you, and not him. I wonder why." Magnus stared at the young girl in Alec's arms. "Clary was an only child, right?" He asked his black-haired boyfriend. Alec nodded.

"She's known the vampire since they were young, though." He stated. Magnus shook his head.

"Her relationship with you is different." Magnus stated.

"What relationship? She thinks I hate her." Alec muttered. Magnus shook his head.

"No. I've seen her watch you with Isabelle. She associates you with an older brother. You just don't see her the same way, so she doesn't say or do anything about it." Magnus said. Alec looked down at the girl in his arms, his heart cracking. He'd done nothing but berate her since she'd gotten there, but she was still calling out for him, still seeing him in an older brother role.

"I don't know what to say." Alec whispered, running his fingers softly through her bright red locks.

"Don't say anything then." Magnus shrugged, leaning back in the chair. "Just show her that you're sorry." He glanced at the girl, an affectionate look on his face. "I've known her since she was very young. It feels like just yesterday that he mother was bring her to me as a baby. Such a beautiful young girl, so curious and full of wonder." Magnus smiled softly.

"Not much has changed, she just has more of an attitude now." Alec joked, smiling at his boyfriend.

"She's headstrong, like her mother. She thinks she knows what's right and best for everyone. The Fairchild women have a good intuition. They usually do what's best, even if it's a hard choice for them." Magnus said, looking at Alec softly. "Like sacrificing themselves for the ones they love." Alec winced, shaking his head.

"I don't like that word. Sacrifice." He replied. Magnus heard the underlying meaning. _It means she's already gone, and I can't handle that._

"I'm sorry, Alexander. You know she will get better. She's a fighter." Magnus comforted, reaching out and touching Alec's fingers, still tangled in Clary's hair.

"I hope so. I'm not sure what would happen if she didn't."

When Jace entered the room that morning, he was startled to see Clary's bright green eyes, awake and alert, hands moving deftly along her sketchbook.

"Clary!" He exclaimed, rushing to her bedside. "Thank god you're awake." He threw his arms around the girl, pressing his face into her shoulder. She squeezed him back tightly, burying her head into his neck. "I was so worried about you." He whimpered.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. I love you." She whispered. Jace's heart fluttered.

"I love you too." He whispered back. "Where did Alec go?" He suddenly questioned, pulling away from her. She looked confused, cocking her head.

"What do you mean? I was alone when I woke up." Clary asked. Jace frowned softly, making a mental note to ask Alec about that later.

"I didn't think…" Jace trailed off, swallowing loudly. "I didn't know if you would wake up." He muttered. Clary smiled softly, grasping his arm.

"You think I'd leave you that easily?" She asked. Jace chuckled softly, shaking his head.

"There's no way to get rid of you that easily even if I wanted to." Jace agreed. There was a soft knock at the door and Alec entered carrying two glasses of tea. Magnus followed with two more.

"We heard you talking, figured we'd barge in and see how you were feeling." Magnus sighed, handing one of the teas to Clary as Alec gave Jace one. Clary smiled thankfully and sipped the warm liquid.

"How _are_ you feeling?" Alec asked, staring meaningfully at Clary. She nodded her head with a smile.

"Much better." She replied. Alec nodded, glad that she seemed to be regaining some of her spark and passion. "Jace said something about you being here…did you stay with me last night?" She asked, glancing between Magnus and Alec. "Or was that just another hallucination?" She wondered.

"Oh biscuit, it was real. Alec here was so worried about you, I just couldn't make him leave." Magnus replied, smiling at Clary.

"You were calling out for him. No matter what I tried, I couldn't…" Jace shook his head, frowning. "I couldn't help you, but Alec could. And did." Clary felt her heart ache for Jace.

"Jace, I'm sorry…" She trailed off as he shook his head, turning away from her.

"Calm your pretty little face." Magnus rolled his eyes at Jace. "I saw your dreams, biscuit. It's not what any of you think. Clary associates Alec with an older brother. It's impossible to repress feelings when you've got demon venom pulsing through you." He shrugged. Clary frowned softly, looking down. That didn't seem to make Jace feel any better. "Fear not, my Nephilim friends." Magnus turned to Jace. "She knows you'll always be there for her. That's why she doesn't call out for you. She doesn't need to. Alec, on the other hand, is another story completely." He explained. Alec frowned.

In that moment, he promised to himself that Clary would never have to call out for him again.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec was sitting on Magnus's couch with a cocktail in his hand when he got the frantic call from Izzy.

"Clary is gone. I can't find her anywhere." Her panicked tone was enough to set Alec into motion, but once he realized what she had said, his heart started pounding quickly.

"What?! You lost her?!" He practically shouted. Magnus put a calming hand on his knee and shook his head. Alec frowned at him, but Magnus only cocked an eyebrow.

"It's not like she's a pen that I misplaced! She ran away, Alec!" Izzy's voice quivered and Alec immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry. It isn't your fault." Alec sighed. "There's a lot going on right now. She's probably just overwhelmed. Magnus and I will look for her while you head off mom." He soothed.

"Please find her." Izzy replied before hanging up and leaving Alec with the dial tone.

"I know where she is. But I'm not the one she wants to see right now," Magnus stared meaningfully at his raven-haired boyfriend. "You are all she has now, Alexander."

Listening to mundane music in one earbud while sitting on a park bench sketching in the light of the street lamp above her almost made Clary feel normal again. Almost. But the six pack that lay at her feet, four of the cans empty, and the seraph dagger pressed into the waistband of her pants reminded her that she wasn't.

She knew Izzy would be beside herself with worry when she realized that Clary had left. But she was tired of being cooped up in the Institute all day, and besides, she didn't sleep anymore. Not since Jace had followed Valentine into that portal.

Clary took in a ragged breath, staring down at the charcoal sketch in front of her. Alec's face stared back at her, stoic and angry like she'd seen so many times. She wasn't sure why she was sketching Alec; it had been automatic.

"Clary." She stared down at the drawing, her vision swimming slightly.

"I really am going crazy. Now my drawings are talking to me. I must surely be losing it." She gave a watery chuckle.

"No, you're not." The girl finally looked up, startled to see Alec standing in front of her. Instead of his usual emotionless mask, his blue eyes were wide. Clary thought he almost looked scared. She pulled the earbud from her ear, eyes wide in confusion.

"Alec, what are you…"

"Izzy called me." Alec interrupted her. "May I?" He gestured to the empty seat next to her, sitting down before she answered. "You shouldn't just leave like that." He stated, frowning. "You scared Izzy." Clary nodded.

"I know." She said quietly. "I just can't be there anymore, but I knew that if I told her, she'd convince me to stay." Clary shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek. "Everything there,"

"Reminds you of him." Alec finished her sentence. "I know." Clary knew he did, better than anyone else. She'd lost one of her closest friends, but Alec had lost his parabatai.

"It's just a lot." Clary whispered, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

"I know, Clary." Alec replied.

"I keep trying to think it through, figure out what happened, but I can't even comprehend it." She whimpered. "Jace was what kept me grounded in this world. He was the one who kept me sane." She looked over to Alec and in that moment all he wanted to do was hug her sadness away.

"Jace is not the only one who's there for you. Luke, Simon, Izzy, your mom." He hesitated, then said with more ferocity than Clary had expected, " _ **Me**_." She looked over to him. "I'm here. I'm right here." He reached out, clutching her shoulder tightly.

"Alec…" Her face crumpled and, without thinking, Alec wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.

"I'm here, Clary. I promise, I'm not going anywhere." He whispered, rocking her side to side softly. "I promise I won't leave." She sobbed into him, arms clutching at his leather jacket, and he rested his chin on her head, wishing he could just take away her pain forever. "You don't have to go back to the Institute. Come to Magnus's with me. Please."

"If I'm gone all night, Aldertree,"

"Let Izzy handle that." Alec interrupted, shaking his head. "You don't need to be there right now." She sniffled slightly before nodding, allowing Alec to pull her to her feet. "Come on. Let's get you into a bed. I gotcha."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Spoilers for season 2 Episode 14! Just my take on Alec's thoughts about what Sebastian says to Clary, and a short snippet of what happens when they get back to the Institute.**_

The first thing Alec does when he returns to the Institute is look for Clary. Sebastian's words still ring in his head, and the fury that accompanies them startles him.

 _"Tell me what it's like to have your entire family ripped away from you."_ Alec shakes his head. How dare he say something like that to her. How dare he act as if he knows her, knows the pain that she's been through.

He doesn't find her anywhere, and even Izzy has no idea where she is. Jace is seemingly engrossed in training and besides, Alec doesn't feel like explaining why he's looking for the red-head.

It's, surprisingly, outside of his own room that he finds her. She's sitting on the floor beside his door, knees pulled up to her chest, face buried, hugging herself so tight Alec thinks she might crumble to dust. Her shoulders are trembling, and he can hear the muffled sniffles erupting from her.

"Clary, hey." He murmurs and bends down, carefully placing his hand on her shoulder. She looks up, startled, and reaches for her seraph dagger in her thigh scabbard. "Hey, whoa. It's just me. Besides, you're the one sitting outside of my door." He jokes softly, startlingly happy when he sees her crack a smile at him. "Let's go in." He gestures to his door, helping her stand to her feet. He can see her legs trembling beneath her and can tell she's barely holding it together. A jolt of protective anger goes through him. "What's going on?" Alec asks, closing the door softly behind him. Clary perches on his bed, delicate, almost as if she's worried she might upset something. Maybe herself.

"Um, Alec." Her voice trembles and he takes a step towards her, hand reaching out softly to cup her cheek. She leans into it, looking up at him. "I just…I don't know what to think." She admits, blinking rapidly. "Sebastian isn't wrong. And he helped me figure out how to use my runes again. But I'm not sure it was worth it." She whispers. Alec steps closer until their barely an inch apart and grips her shoulders with both hands. She looks up at him the way Izzy used to look at him when she was younger, eyes begging him to fix whatever is wrong in her world. Alec's heart cracks and he wishes more than anything to take her pain away.

"Sebastian _**is**_ wrong; you're not alone." He whispers. "I can't bring your mother back, and Jace might not be your brother. But that doesn't mean anything." He says intensely, squeezing her shoulders. She looks away, shaking her head. "Hey." He grips her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Jace isn't your brother, but I _**am.**_ For all intensive purposes. You're not alone. You have family right here." He grips her hand and presses it to his own chest. "I'm not going anywhere." Her face crumples and she suddenly throws herself into him. Alec wraps himself around her, sinking to the bed with her and allowing her to lay curled up next to him, sobbing loudly. "I'm here, little sister." He whispers, allowing her to unlock something in him; a feeling he hasn't felt since Isabelle has stopped needed him to chase her nightmares away. Clary feels right in his arms, feels like she belongs there. She feels like one of his people, and Alec doesn't let anyone hurt his people. Especially not the broken-hearted red-head in his arms. "You don't deserve this, Clary." He murmurs into her hair. She only wails in response, fingers scrabbling for purchase in his soft black t-shirt.

"Make it go away, Alec." She whimpers. Alec swallows harshly and squeezes her even tighter, pulling her as close to him as he can.

"I'm going to make it all stop, Clary. I promise." In that moment, Alec vows that he will never let someone hurt his family like this. Especially one of his little sisters.


	4. Chapter 4

**I read a story on Archive Of Our Own that gave me the idea for this one. I love the idea of Clary and Alec having a friendship where they just insult each other all the time and are super sarcastic, but that Alec really cares when something serious happens. This is just a few brief interactions between the two!**

He had hated her, originally. She'd caused Jace to act irrationally, but eventually Alec had realized that Valentine was going to come back regardless of whether Clary Fray had appeared in their lives or not. Now, he was starting to realize that she was a permanent fixture at the Institute, and some part of him wasn't too upset about that.

"Hey douche face, what are you up to?" Clary asked, dropping her ass directly onto his desk and almost covering the paper work he was filling out, if he hadn't moved it.

"Paperwork. Are you in here for a reason?" He asked, glaring up at the red-head through his eyelashes.

"Yes. I need your help." Clary replied, crossing her arms. Alec scowled.

"I'm busy, Fray. Find someone else. Where's Jace?" He asked. Clary shrugged with a hum.

"Just help me." She whined.

"No. Now get out." Alec replied with a glare. "This is a lot of paperwork and I don't really want to be here all night."

"Why not? Got a hot date?" She winked, sliding off of his desk and strutting to the door. Alec rolled his eyes.

"If you must know, Magnus and I have dinner plans." He replied. Clary smirked.

"Use protection! Bye!" She waved and hurried from the office, closing the door just in time for the book Alec had propelled her way to hit the closed door. The black-haired boy shook his head with a sigh but couldn't help the small smile that curled his lips upward.

 **SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH**

"Alec, can you knock it off?" Clary batted the raven-haired man's hand away from her face, rolling her eyes as she heard him giggle softly; something that she never knew she would hear.

"Why, are you trying to do something?" He asked, poking her cheek again. Clary huffed, slamming her sketchbook shut, and turned the full force of her angry glare on him.

"Yes. Yes, I am. Can I help you?" She demanded. Alec smirked and stood to his full height, shaking his head.

"Isabelle is looking for you." He replied. Clary rolled her eyes.

"You couldn't just say that at first?" She demanded, standing up and poking him in the chest. He snorted and shook his head.

"It was more fun this way." He replied with a small smirk.

"Fuck off." She rolled her eyes but shot him a wink as she passed him to let him know that she was joking.

"Gladly, Fray!" He called after her, shaking his head as she lifted her finger to him.

 **SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH**

Clary was normally pretty good at dealing with pain, but the deep cut in her arm made her squirm as Jace pressed a wad of rags to it to stem the bleeding.

"That hurts." She hissed, eyes slamming shut.

"I know, I'm sorry." Jace replied with a frown, glancing up at her. "If I could make the pain go away, I would." He replied.

"Suck it up, Fray." Alec murmured from the door. Jace turned, shooting an ice-cold glare at his parabatai.

"Alec." He hissed, but much to his surprise, Clary snorted out a laugh.

"Fuck off, Lightwood." She replied with a small giggle. Jace glanced between the two, eyes wide with confusion. The man was startled to see a small smile on Alec's face, and even more startled to see the caring look in his eyes.

"I would if you wouldn't be such a baby all the time. It's amusing." He replied, but Jace could see that he was actually worried about her.

"Shut up, Lightwood." Clary replied, but her response was less fiery than he would've expected.

"Get some sleep, you big whiner." Alec replied with a roll of his eyes and a soft smile.

 **SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH**

"Alec, move your big head so I can get a clear view." Clary hissed, shoving the man she'd come to see as her older brother. The Lightwood glanced over at her with a roll of his eyes but moved slightly to the left, so she could see the demon they were hunting better. Jace and Izzy had been sent on a diplomatic mission to the Seelie Queen, leaving Clary and Alec to deal with a lower demon that had been terrorizing Mundanes in Manhattan. They'd easily tracked it, but Clary was starting to feel nervous. It would be one of her only hunts without Jace, and she wasn't sure she was ready.

"Hey." Clary looked up to see Alec staring at her, eyes bright in the darkness. "Don't worry about it. I'm right here. I've got your back." He promised, smiling. Clary was startled. She'd only seen him do that a few times. "On my mark."

As steady as ever, Alec raised his bow and fired an arrow towards the demon. Clary watched it hit its mark and then lunged forward silently, her two daggers slick in her sweaty palms. The daggers when through its heart and the creature screamed before falling away to nothing. Clary turned, a bright smile on her face.

"Alec, did you see that?!" She demanded. However, Alec's eyes only widened, and he lurched towards her, one hand outstretched.

"Clary, look out!" He yelled, but before he could reach her, she felt a sharp sting in her side. Suddenly, there was fire pulsing through her abdomen, and she felt herself falling to the side. Alec released a few arrows into the second demon, not even paying attention as he dropped to his knees next to the now convulsing Clary. For a lower demon, the venom seemed incredibly strong. "Fucking shit." He hissed, examining the wound in her side.

"That's the most I've ever heard you curse." She gasped, managing a giggle somehow.

"Oh my god, shut up Fray." Alec replied, rolling his eyes despite the situation.

"You gonna make me?" She asked, ignoring the blood dribbling from her mouth. "Isn't demon venom supposed to cause crazy hallucinations?" She asked. Alec shook his head, mouth turned into a frown.

"Some of it does. This doesn't, just causes a lot of pain. It probably feels like fire in your veins." He was clearly speaking from experience. "Fuck, I don't know how to get you back to the institute." He whispered, more to himself.

"I could walk maybe." Clary replied, coughing again.

"Clary. Shut the fuck up." Alec snapped, causing the girl to seal her lips. "You're lucky that you're not that heavy." With no other choices, Alec hefted the girl into his arms and hurriedly jogged down the street, glancing at the towering spires of the Institute, clearly visible over the roofs of the lower buildings around it.

"Are you sure this doesn't cause hallucinations? Because it looks an awful lot like you may be worried about me." Clary replied, staring up into his slate blue eyes and wondering when they'd gotten close enough for Alec to be this worried.

"Shut up." Alec muttered, but didn't say he wasn't worried.

"Hey." Cleary reached up, a shaking hand coming into contact with Alec's cheek. He couldn't help but notice how clammy and cold it was. "You know I'm gonna be okay right?" She asked.

"Yeah." Alec murmured. "I'm a little more worried about what Jace is going to do to me when he finds out that I let you get hurt." He glanced up as they came to the door. As if on cue, it burst open and Jace flew out, all golden locks and angry eyes.

"What happened?!" He demanded, taking Clary from his arms and staring down at her.

"It wasn't Alec's fault." Clary assured him, reaching up to grab his cheek. "Anyway, I think I'm going to take a nap." Before Jace or Alec could respond, the girl's head had dropped, eyes falling shut.

"She'll be fine." Alec stated, glancing down at her. "We couldn't get rid of her that easily anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

It happens during training, while Clary is facing Isabelle and Alec is standing in the wings with his arms crossed, watching the two girls fight. It comes suddenly, with no warning, and neither of the Lightwoods have enough time to react as Clary drops to her knees, eyes wide, and chokes.

It feels like ice and fire curling through her chest simultaneously and she suddenly wonders who sucked all of the fucking air out of the training room because she **can't. Breathe.** She gasps and coughs and curls into herself on the floor, wishing she could disappear into nothing. She hasn't had one of these in forever, and she's forgotten what it feels like when the tendrils clench her stomach into one huge knot and her heart is hammering in her chest. She knows that Isabelle and Alec are speaking to her, she can hear them, but it sounds like they're underwater.

There's a scream. Clary knows that it comes from her, but it feels disconnected somehow. Like the person laying on the floor and her are two different people. And then there's hands. Hands on her shoulders. Hands uncurling her from her ball. Her vision, blurred by tears, focuses on Alec's face in front of her. The softness of his normally hard eyes, his hands gently wiping tears from her face, should startle her. It only comforts her. She finds herself leaning closer to him, lips trembling, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Alec's mouth is moving, his hands are grasping the sides of her face, thumbs softly brushing her cheeks. Hands in her hair: Izzy.

There's a gasp, and it's like she's unplugged her ears. She can suddenly hear Alec. He's speaking frantically, despite the calmness in his touch. She wheezes and suddenly lurches forward, hands scrabbling for purchase somewhere, anywhere, that's solid. She finds his shirt, twists her hands into it and shoves her face into his shoulder.

"Hey Clary, I need you to breathe for me. Please, just try to take some deep breaths. Just breathe with me, it's all going to be okay." Alec is speaking, but the words seem to go in one ear and out the other. Clary isn't listening.

Alec knows what this is. Alec has seen this, has been through it himself. An occupational hazard, if you will. This is raw, unadulterated panic. He'd almost been waiting for Clary to have a break down. She's been through too much for something like this to not happen.

He squeezes her tightly, tucks her head under his chin and whispers into her hair like any of it will help. But he knows enough, has been through this enough times, it won't help. It's like putting a band aide over a stab wound.

He suddenly realizes that Clary is speaking. Or screaming, more like, but the words don't make sense. Alec suddenly realizes that he's actually scared. This is worse than any other panic attack he's seen or had, and it's scaring him. He looks up at his sister, mouth open, but before he can speak she nods.

"I'll go get him." And she's running, practically sprinting, to find Jace, to get him here. Maybe he can help the inconsolable girl.

"Clary, it's okay." Alec continues to speak over her sobbing, hacking screams and coughs when the smell of coppery blood reaches his nose. His own panic takes over and he shoves Clary away from him, maybe rougher than he had expected to.

There's blood winding from Clary's nose, dripping onto the training room floor, but she doesn't seem to notice, only lunges forward again, buries herself into his shoulder, and keeps screaming.

It takes record time for Izzy to find Jace and the two of them to return to Alec and Clary entangled on the training room floor. Jace dives to his knees and throws his arms around Clary, locking Alec's arms around her as well. Surrounded on all sides, the girl seems to calm down. Her shoulders relax and her screams quiet to soft whimpers. Jace is whispering in her ear and his hands are softly massaging her shoulders, kneading all of the knots out of it.

"When I was young," Clary hiccups, her rough voice startling the three others in the room, "I was diagnosed with a panic disorder." She shakes her head, sniffling. "It hasn't hit me like this in years. I'm sorry." She looks up and Jace is startled to see blood smeared around her face, still rolling slowly from her nostrils. Jace reaches up and softly wipes the blood from her top lip, smiling softly.

"Don't apologize. Not for something like this." Alec replies. Clary looks up at him, still caged in his arms. "We all have them. It's hard not to, when you have a life like this. We all get it." He assures her with a soft smile.

Clary smiles and nods, allowing the two men to help her up, and suddenly wonders when she'd started seeing Alec like an older brother.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is set right after Alec finds out that his dad cheated on his mom. Some sad!Alec and protective!Clary!**

He couldn't sleep. Not that it was surprising after the bomb that his mother had dropped on him. For all of the respect he'd afforded his father, he actually wasn't too surprised about all of this. His parents had been falling apart for a while now, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. He only wished that it hadn't happened the way that it did. He wished his mom wasn't in so much pain about it (despite the fact that she refused to show it).

His phone showed the numbers 3:37am, bright white and glaring at him like a reminder, or a taunt. He knew he should be in bed, knew that he had an institute to run, but he'd laid in his bed for hours to no avail.

As he wandered towards the garden, he suddenly heard soft music. He turned the corner, startled to see Clary sitting among the plants. A witchlight sat next to her, a small speaker at her feet, and her head was bent over her sketchbook. He watched silently as she reached up, brushing bright red locks out of her eyes with charcoal-stained fingers. Alec sighed before shrugging softly to himself and meandering towards her. She glanced up, green eyes sparkling in the light, before giving him a soft smile and looking back to her sketch.

Silently, the boy took a seat next to her, sighing softly and leaning back against the small half wall Clary had chosen to sit in front of.

"What are you drawing?" He suddenly asked, softly so as not to disturb the soft calm between the two of them. She smiled sadly and tilted the sketchbook towards him. He was startled to see Valentine's face staring back at him.

"Oh." Was his only response as she nodded once and hunched back over the sketch.

Alec glanced around, finding himself more at peace within the plants and, surprisingly, with Clary at his side than he had in days. He could feel his tense shoulders finally start to relax, and he let out a deep breath, allowing all of the tension in his body to melt away.

"Is everything okay?" Clary asked, closing her sketchbook, and turning to look at the black-haired boy. He stared forward, a mute frown dominating his face. "I know I'm probably the last person that you want to talk to, but you know that you can, right?" She nudged his shoulder softly.

"What song is this?" He responded, seemingly ignoring the words she had said.

"Oh, let me check." She picked up her phone from beside her, startled by the sudden words. "It's called Help I'm Alive by the band Metric." Alec nodded his head slowly, fiddling with his thumbs on his lap.

"I like it." He murmured. Clary giggled softly.

"It's a cool song. I love Champagne Enema or whatever they are now, but it's always nice to hear stuff like this too."

"Champagne _what_?" Alec demanded, turning his head to look at her. Clary's laughing green eyes shone back at him.

"Simon's band. Before he became…" She trailed off, frowning. Alec nodded his head, turning back around to stare at the plants before him.

"My dad cheated on my mom." He suddenly said and was surprised at the pain that came with the admission. It was the first time he'd said it aloud. Clary turned to look at him, nodding to show that she was listening, but didn't speak. "I don't know how I feel about it." He continued. "I think I'm disappointed in him. I respected him so much, but now…" He paused, licking his lips, and trying to collect his thoughts. "Part of me isn't so surprised about it, though." Clary nodded, but Alec wasn't looking. "I'm worried about my mom. And Izzy." He shook his head, surprised by the lump that was forming in his throat.

Clary reached out, putting her hand hesitantly on his shoulder. He looked up at her, tears shining in his eyes.

"I suppose neither of us won the dad lottery, huh?" She asked softly. Alec cracked a small smile, even as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Alec, it's okay to just be sad for you. You don't have to be sad for your mom, or for Izzy. If you're upset, then that's okay. But you need to admit that to yourself." She smiled meaningfully at him. "There was nothing you could have done to change it. You're a wonderful son, and a wonderful friend. A wonderful brother. One of the most dedicated and loyal people I know. And sometimes, you have to break. You can't just be strong all the time." As if the words had broken some sort of dam inside of him, Alec couldn't stop the tears that came down his cheeks. One after another, faster and faster, until he was full on crying. Clary turned, grasping his shoulders, and pulling him forward. He didn't resist, surprisingly, as he allowed his head to fall onto her shoulder, his arms winding around her and squeezing. "I'm here for you, Alec. I promise." She whispered, holding him tightly as he shook with silent sobs in her arms.

Alec allowed himself to feel sad about his parents coming divorce, the fact that his father had betrayed not only his mother but his children too, for the first time. He allowed his feelings to come out, the anger and sadness that had caused his unrest for days now. The whole reason he hadn't been able to sleep was because of this, and he'd found comfort and the words he needed to hear with someone he had never expected. It was almost kind of funny, he thought. He could never have imagined being in this position before; he had hated her when she'd first shown up in their lives.

They stayed there long enough that Clary's legs, folded under her awkwardly, became numb, but she did not move. Still she sat, holding this boy that had only ever seemed stoic and strong to her. It was only when Alec pulled away from her that she dared to adjust, sighing in relief as she fell to her butt. Alec wiped the last few tears from his cheeks and sniffled. Clary's music played softly, her sketchbook forgotten on the ground next to it. Alec looked over at her, but she was staring at the ground with a sad smile on her face.

"Thanks." He rasped. The girl turned towards him, grinning.

"Did you just say thank you? To me?" She giggled, almost evilly. Alec's eyes narrowed.

"If you tell anyone about this, you're dead Fray." He muttered, angrily. Clary's smile fell, and she shook her head, her eyes wide.

"I would never, Alec. You have to know that. What happened tonight will stay between you and me." She said earnestly. Alec nodded, chewing on his lip.

"I'm going to bed." He announced suddenly, standing up. Clary looked up at him from the ground, smiling softly. "You should get some sleep too. Don't think we haven't noticed those bags under your eyes." He stared down at her with a soft look of concern. Clary nodded, smiling.

"I will, Alec. Promise." She replied. He nodded and turned, heading for the door.

"Oh, and Clary?" He turned back around to see her standing up and collecting her things.

"Hmm?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Seriously. Thanks for tonight. You can come to me if you need anything, okay?" He assured her. Clary nodded, grinning.

"I will Alec, thanks."

He would never tell anyone that he went back to his room and looked up that song, Help I'm Alive, and he would never _ever_ tell anyone that his last thought before he fell asleep was that maybe Clary Fray wasn't as bad as he had originally thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Some hurt!Alec and guilty!Clary!**

"Clary, I need you to come on a mission with me." She was startled by the words, but even more startled by the person who's mouth they came out of. She looked up from her sketchbook, eyeing Alec leaning on her door frame.

"Why me?" She demanded, closing her sketchbook. Alec rolled his eyes, drawing up to his full height and crossing his arms.

"Because I'm the leader of the institute, and I said so." He answered curtly. "Be in the ops room in five." He glanced around her room, as if looking for something, before spinning on his heel and stalking from her room. Clary stared after him, eyes narrowed.

"What crawled up his butt and died?" She murmured to herself before shrugging and standing up.

"You're late." Were Alec's first words to her when she finally entered the ops room. She rolled her eyes, glancing down at her watch.

"By one minute. Calm your titties." She muttered. Alec narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything more on the matter.

"Have you hunted a Mantid before?" Alec asked, gesturing towards the picture on the ops table. Clary's face contorted into one of mute disgust and she shook her head. "There have been a few reports of some terrorizing mundanes in lower Brooklyn." He looked over the table at her, frowning at the dazed look on her face. "Are you paying attention, Fray?" He snapped, causing her to jump slightly.

"Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well." She replied.

"I didn't ask if you'd been sleeping okay. I asked if you were listening." Alec replied, squishing what little concern he may have for her.

"Sorry." Clary murmured, shaking her head and slapping her cheeks softly. "Okay, what do I need to know about Mantids?" She asked. Alec glared at her silently for a few more seconds before leaning his palms onto the table and staring at the 3D picture of the demon.

"They're strong. Really strong. They like to crush." He glanced at her, startled to see her staring at him in rapt attention. "They can kill a man with one snap of those pincers." He glanced at the picture again.

"So, avoid the pincers." Clary replied, a deep scowl twisting onto her face. "Noted."

Clary liked New York. Even now, at 11pm, the city was bustling and the two glamoured shadowhunters had to dodge mundanes on the sidewalk. Alec strode ahead of her, all business, barely looking back to make sure she was keeping up. She glared at his back, wondering why he suddenly seemed to dislike her again. They had been making progress, sometimes even having civil conversations without wanting to kill each other. But now, it seemed like he had reverted back to his original attitude of hating her.

"Why did you choose me to come with you?" She asked, jogging to catch up to him and matching his strides with her own. Alec shot a sour look at her from the corner of his eye and didn't answer. "Okay, or not." She shrugged, twirling one of her kindjals around.

"Stop messing with that, it's not a toy." Alec muttered, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the childlike woman next to him.

"Yes, father." She mocked but sheathed her blade and shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. "Hey, Alec, is everything okay with you?" The black-haired boy came to a stop and turned with sudden vigor, making Clary stumble back, eyes wide at the sight of his darkened face, teeth bared angrily.

"Stop. Asking. Questions. I'm not in the mood, Fray. Let's just get this fucking hunt done so that I don't have to deal with your incessant talking the rest of the night." Before she could respond, he spun around and stalked off. Clary watched him go with her mouth dropped open, affronted. How dare he speak to her like that?! With no other choice, Clary hurried after him, her mouth pressed into a thin line. All of the progress she felt like she'd been making with him seemed to have gone out the window. She wondered if it had something to do with Jace. The two of them had drawn further apart ever since he'd returned from his stint with Valentine. Not by any fault of their own, they were both just busy with other things, but she knew Jace hadn't been happy about it. Clary wondered if he'd been talking to Alec about it, and was angry with her for pushing him away, or making him talk to Alec so much about her.

"Shh." Alec suddenly hissed, throwing his arm out and barring her forward movement. Clary crept closer to him, peering over his shoulder to see the Mantid down a side alley to their right. It looked to be rifling through some trash on the ground, but as she activated her night vision rune, Clary could see that it was actually a body. She clamped her lips together, pushing back on the vomit rising in her throat. Alec glanced over, slate blue eyes meeting her own green ones, and flickered back towards the Mantid. With silent stealth, he drew his bow off of his back and knocked one of his runed arrows. Clary drew her kindjals, but Alec shook his head, pressing his finger to his lips. The girl nodded, allowing them to slide silently back into their sheaths, and pulled her stele from her boot instead. Alec nodded as he watched her draw her sunshine rune on her hand before taking a deep breath, aiming down the arrow, and watching it sail forward.

His arrow embedded itself into the side of the Mantid, but before it had time to react, Clary had let a blast loose, disintegrating it into nothing and leaving a pile of Ichor on the ground. Alec stood from his stooped position, staring at the body on the ground and was barely able to repress the shiver. Poor mundane.

"I'll call Luke and let him know we've got a body here." Clary said softly, pulling her phone from her pocket.

"No, we need to make sure the area is clear first. There could be another one." Alec responded, only the second thing he'd said to her since they'd left the Institute.

"Alec, it's fine. Let me just call Luke." Clary replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure we'd hear or see if there was another one near. I've got my hearing enhancement rune active anyway."

"Clary, stop." Alec knocked her hand away as she unlocked her phone. "They'll see the light."

"It's fine." She replied again, turning around and scrolling through her contacts until she found Luke's name. As the phone was ringing, Alec suddenly gave a shout.

"Clary!" She turned, startled to see a Mantid claw headed straight for her, but before she could react, Alec had shoved her aside. Clary watched with wide, sullen, eyes as the Mantid's claw clamped around Alec's arm, and winced at the audible crack. She was impressed that Alec didn't even make a sound, only grunted as he jabbed a seraph blade into the thing's body, and jolted away as it exploded Ichor, just barely missing him.

"Oh my god, Alec! Are you okay?!" She scrambled towards him, frowning as she saw his shattered arm and mangled bicep. Alec sighed miserably and shoved himself to his feet with one hand, glaring down at her with an expression so dark she couldn't help the shiver that ran through her. She'd never seen Alec so mad.

"Call Luke." He snapped, turning away as she nodded softly and picked up her discarded phone.

"Clary?" Luke's voice, warm and comforting, picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Luke. Alec and I took care of some Mantids in lower Brooklyn, but there's a body. A mundane." She murmured miserably.

"Sounds like the mission didn't go so great. I'll send a squad out, but you might want to get out of there." Luke warned. Clary nodded even though he couldn't see her.

"Yeah, we're headed back to the Institute. Thanks Luke." When she looked up, Alec was already stalking away, his right arm dangling awkwardly at his side. Clary bit her lip before hurrying after him. She hadn't meant for Alec to get hurt. She had honestly thought she would be able to hear if there was another one, and besides, Alec had thrown her into this hunt with very little information on a demon that she had never faced before. It was kind of his fault that he'd been hurt.

She shook her head at herself. That wasn't true, and it wasn't fair. She was supposed to have his back, and she had failed. That was on her. She had failed to listen to him, failed to follow his direction, and he'd been injured because of it.

"Alec, I'm sorry." She said, hurrying to catch up to him. The boy didn't acknowledge her, only lengthened his strides to pull ahead of her. Clary frowned, heaving a large sigh, and put her head down.

The two entered the Institute to find Jace and Izzy in the ops room, dirty and covering in Ichor. It looked like they had just returned from a mission as well. They were talking loudly and laughing jovially, but when Alec entered the room and threw his bow onto the table before stalking towards the infirmary, all went quiet. Clary stood by the weapons rack, biting her lip and blinking quickly.

"What happened?" Jace was the first to break the silence, turning to look at the red head next to him. Clary sighed miserably and shook her head.

"It was my fault. We were hunting Mantids and I didn't watch his back like I should have. He took the blow for me, but his arm…" She trailed off, shaking her head and turning to look at Jace. His golden eyes searched hers, hand reaching out to grip her shoulder softly.

"It's not your fault, Clary. We get hurt all the time." He assured her. Clary shook her head, shoving Jace's arm off of her shoulder.

"It is my fault. Alec trusted me to watch his back and I didn't. And now his arm is mangled, and it's because of me." She shouldered past Jace, wincing internally at how hard she shoulder checked him, and went to follow Alec.

He was sitting in the infirmary wincing as he activated his own Iratze. Clary was about to go in, but Izzy shouldered past her violently, sending her a glare. Clary frowned, knowing she deserved that.

"Hey big brother. Your arm's a little messed up." Izzy murmured.

"Not just my arm." Alec lifted his shirt and Clary gasped, not able to help the tears that rose quickly to her eyes. Somehow, Alec had managed to conceal a large gash in his abdomen, but he was starting to look pale and the Iratze wasn't doing anything for it.

"Lay back, Alec. Jesus. I have to send a fire message to mom." The girl turned, eyeing Clary at the entrance to the Infirmary. "Actually, you can do that. It's your fault he's hurt, so you get to tell mom why." She snapped, narrowing her eyes. "You can let her know that you got distracted on a mission and now her son has demon venom running through his veins. How does that sound?" She continued.

"I'll go do that." Clary practically whispered, turning and fleeing before Izzy could unleash the full power of her rage onto the red headed shadowhunter.

Maryse, surprisingly, wasn't upset with Clary. Her fire message was motherly, and concerned, but nothing like the fiery rage Izzy had thrown at her, or the cold anger that radiated from Alec. She was worried, yes, but assured Clary that shadowhunters were used to this sort of injury. It didn't make Clary feel any less guilty.

When she returned to the Infirmary, Alec was practically screaming in pain. She'd heard it from all the way down the hallway but seeing the state he was in was enough to make her cry. He was writhing on the bed, screams erupting from his mouth, and his clammy hands twisted into the bed sheets. Jace was standing at his head stroking his hair and speaking softly as Izzy did professional looking sutures over the gash in his wound.

"Clary get over here and help." She snapped, not even looking up. Clary hurried over to her side, gasping as Izzy handed her a vial. "I need you to give him that. Have you ever had an IV?" She demanded, still not looking at the red head.

"Yes." Clary whispered.

"Good. It goes where you would put an IV. Right in the elbow. It's an antivenom." Clary barely heard her over Alec's cracked screams and sobs.

Alec could only feel fire. He knew Jace and Izzy were there, and Clary had just joined them. He could faintly hear them talking but was screaming too loud to hear what exactly they were saying.

Demon venom was an interesting thing. Some downworlders took it in small doses for the hallucinogenic effect. Alec felt like he was standing in his own mind, watching all of his childhood memories fly past him at lighting speed. Memories of Jace, of Izzy, of practicing with his bow. Even some more recent memories, like the day Clary had shown up at the Institute with Jace with demon venom much like this in her veins. The day he'd met Magnus, and the first day he'd kissed the man, at his own wedding. Recent memories mixed with childhood memories mixed with hallucinations until Alec couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. All he knew was pain, and tears.

But there was something…comforting. There were hands in his hair, not ones that he recognized. A soft voice singing shakily into his ear. Who was it? Why was she crying?

"Alec, I'm so sorry." There was a sniffle, the hands in his hair paused, and he suddenly realized they were shaking. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Yes, it is." That was a voice he knew. Izzy, and she was angry. "What the fuck were you thinking, Clary?!" She demanded. Alec listened hazily, too tired to open his eyes. "Alec could have died!" Izzy continued. Alec wanted to open his eyes, wanted to tell her to go easy on Clary, that he hadn't really been fair to the red head and it wasn't entirely her fault, but he couldn't.

And then he was watching Clary's mom die, seeing her blood red on his owns hands. Watching Clary realize that her mom was dead, and Alec had killed her.

"You don't deserve to live anymore." A vision of Jocelyn, but not really, with black eyes and razor-sharp teeth rising above him, morphing into every person he'd ever know, spewing hate at him. He faintly heard himself let out a whimper.

"I'm sorry, Alec. I promise I'll make it up to you." Alec didn't know much at the time, couldn't really decipher between reality and his dreams. But he did know that the hands in his hair and the singing in his ear comforted him. He found the strength to reach up, gripping Clary's small arm in his hand.

"Stay."

The next time Alec awoke, he felt much better. He groaned as he opened his eyes, rolling a stiff neck back and forth, and was startled to see Clary sitting in a chair next to his bed, head lolled to the side and eyes closed. He stared at her, struggling to remember what had happened the night before. He could remember the mission, remember seeing that Mantid coming for Clary and just reacting, and he remembered… _Clary had sat with him all night._ Just like he'd asked her to, she'd stayed. He couldn't help the small smile that lifted the corners of his lips at that.

"Big brother!" Izzy's jovial voice pulled him from his thoughts and Clary jumped awake, hand immediately coming to the blade on her hip. When she realized it was just Izzy, she relaxed, stretching her neck from side to side and standing up. "I'm here to check your wound!" She sent a sideways look at Clary before pulling the bed sheets back. Alec hummed as she pulled his shirt up and peeled the bandage off, revealing perfectly white skin and a small, thin scar. "Perfectly healed." She crumpled the bandage in her hand before helping Alec sit up. He stretched his stiff muscles before climbing to his feet. "There's breakfast in the kitchen." At Alec's disgusted face, she rolled her eyes. "Jace made it. I'll meet you there." Izzy glanced between her brother and Clary before leaving the room.

"Alec-"

"I'm sorry." Alec interrupted her, shaking his head. "I wasn't fair to you yesterday. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you. I put you on a mission without proper information and put both of our lives at stake. I won't do that again. I'm sorry, Clary. Thank you." The corners of his lips lifted softly, and he hesitantly reached out, ruffling Clary's hair softly before dipping his head in a nod and walking past her out of the infirmary.

Clary stared after him, mouth agape and head shaking slowly. She would never understand Alec Lightwood.


	8. Chapter 8

**In the books, there is a section about there being like a ropes system and stuff in the training room so this is kind of a small fic about that, but imagined with the TV characters :P Also this involves hints of bisexual Clary but nothing huge. This is just some Alec Clary fluff!**

"I feel like Tomb Raider." Clary was dangling from a metal bar 20 or 30 feet above the padded training room floor trying desperately to not let her sweaty hands slip. That was a long fall. Alec stood below her with a stoic face, arms crossed tightly over chest watching her with scrutinizing eyes. Her training had originally been delegated to Jace, but she wasn't coming along as fast as Alec had hoped. He assumed it was because Jace was too much of a distraction, and so had chosen to take over her training instead.

"Focus." The man snapped, watching as she flung herself through the air to the next bar. "Who would want to raid a tomb, anyway?" He wondered as an afterthought. The only tomb he knew of was the Silent City, and why on earth would anyone want to raid that place? Even the thought of it sent chills down his spine. Clary choked out a laugh through her quick pants, readjusting her grip on the new metal bar and letting out a squeak as her fingers slipped slightly.

"Was that a joke, Alec Lightwood?" She demanded. "It's a video game and movie serious, anyway. She's this awesome female explorer and badass warrior goddess." She explained dreamily, glaring ahead at the next bar, lower than the one she was hanging from. The girl swung herself forward, grappling at the next bar and pulling herself up onto it with a sigh of relief.

"Quit being so gay." He replied. Clary snorted in surprise, almost falling from the bar she was perched on.

"Okay, first off-you're one to talk, and secondly-it's called being bisexual." She explained with a roll of her eyes.

"Gay." Alex muttered. Clary snorted again with another eye roll, wondering how many times a day she could do that before they would fall out of her head, but the large smile stayed planted on her face.

"I think you'd like tomb raider. She uses a bow and arrow." Clary stated as she jumped to some rope netting that was dangling from the ceiling, barely catching it with her fingers. "You're like the male Lara Croft. That's her name." She huffed as she crawled along the ceiling on the netting, trying not to look too far backwards and make herself dizzy.

"Lara Croft is the female Alec Lightwood." Alex replied with a smirk. Clary barked a laugh as she finally made it to a larger square platform, groaning in relief as she took a moment to lay down.

"Who would have known Alec Lightwood had a sense of humor?" Clary asked rhetorically, taking a few deep breaths, and wishing she had some water.

"Lot's of people. I just happen to not like you." He answered arrogantly.

"You love me." Clary stated knowingly. Alec smirked but didn't deny the statement.

"Okay, Tomb Raider, find a way back down." He instructed. "Chop-chop." Clary stuck her tongue out at him.

Alec heard Jace approaching from a few feet back, so it didn't surprise him when his blond Parabatai came to a stop at his side.

"How's it going?" The blond man asked, watching his girlfriend struggle to find a way around to the climbing wall on the other side of the room.

"It's coming along." Alec answered. "She's gay for tomb raider." He informed Jace suddenly, who laughed loudly and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled.

"Shut up, Alec!" Clary yelled, making him smirk.

"Why are you listening to me? Focus on what you're doing." He called in response, chuckling softly when she jabbed her middle finger into the air.

"This is her first time without the harness." Jace noticed that she wasn't connected to the ropes system.

"She's been doing very well. I figured she was ready." Alec explained. Jace nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as the two watched her in silence.

As if Alec's words had created some sort of cosmic karma, Clary squealed as she missed the bar she was jumping for, eyes widening as she realized that she was falling freely through the air now.

"Remember what I taught you! Protect the neck!" Alec shouted, watching as she flipped to her back and curled her arms protectively around her head, lifting it so that it wouldn't slam onto the ground when she landed.

She let out a choked gasp as her landing knocked the air from her lungs. Alec winced in sympathy; falling from the obstacle course was never pleasant.

"You okay?" Jace asked worriedly as the two shadowhunters approached her. She wheezed but shot him a thumbs up.

"Would Tomb Raider do that?" Alec teased, stretching out a hand and helping her to her feet.

"Fuck off, Lightwood."

"Sounds like you've got a lot of energy. Why don't you go again?"

"I hate you."


	9. Authors Note

Hey just wanted to write this to address some things! Firstly, thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I appreciate you guys reading and am glad that you enjoy them!

Clalec Brotp stories are inherently OOC, because we don't get to see their relationship much at all during the show, and I'm taking some creative freedoms in pushing their relationship and expanding against the boundaries that the show and books have created. If it's too much for you, then I apologize. But the beauty of fanfiction is that it's designed for that of thing.

That being said, these stories that I post are all set in different stages of this relationship. The last one I posted is supposed to be once they've become comfortable with each other and are joking. Alec can't be such a 2d character that he's got no sense of humor and I firmly believe that he would absolutely joke around like this with Clary once they've become friends. If we as fanfiction writers were to stay completely in character and keep within these boundaries that the show has shot, there wouldn't be much of a Clalec brotp relationship at all.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day and keep an eye out for some more oneshots posted soon!


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